Shit My Roommates Say

23 06 2013

My roommates are pretty hilarious. I’ve been keeping track of the things they say (one of them more than the other). And I feel like I need to share them.
“What’s the worst thing you could put in someone’s food? Well, actually, probably poison…”

“This food would be good…I mean if it didn’t suck.”

“That is UNIMPEACHABLE! …I really wanted to say¬†peach.

“He asked me if I liked flowers. But I was like, ‘Uhhh, noo…but gimmie some vegetables!'”

“I ate halusky, man. It was cheesy as fuck. I was all cheesed out.”

“The American style is more comatose than the British…so there are more commas.”

“I am a basket of tired.”

Ciao is, like, fucking universal, man.”

“I’m gonna eat a pooooo00ooooomegranate. I don’t mean pomegranate. I mean pomegranate. I mean pomeranc. No. Actually, I mean portobello mushroom.”

“I am so much like a hobo sometimes.”