Well, This is Awkward

29 03 2017

*peeks out from behind curtain*

Hi. I’m back.

Life has changed.

I moved. Flat-out left Iowa. Left the Midwest. Left the Central Time Zone! If there is one thing I just can’t get used to, it’s the news being on at 11:00 instead of 10:00 every night. IT’S. NOT. NATURAL.

(The layout of WordPress has really changed. I do NOT think I like this new text box. WHERE ARE THE LINES?! THIS IS HORRIBLE, I DO NOT LIKE THIS AT ALL.)

Anyway, I live in Boston now. I am doing quite well living on the impressive salary I bring in as an unpaid intern.

Oh, right, I didn’t mention that I’m in grad school now. I’m getting a Masters in Library Science. For Archives Management. Though so far I haven’t managed any archives. I am, however, a mighty intern who spends her time moving folders around and stressing over the exact right way to organize a bunch of documents.

Last semester I “learned” HTML. If you think that means that now I can make do stuff to make this blog look better, or at least different, you are sorely mistaken, my friend. I can’t. I did make a website, though. It is a really, really terrible website. Like, you cannot believe how terrible. Like, think early-2000s era website. It’s like that. The teacher was all, “This website will be here until you graduate! Put it in your portfolio and send potential employers the link when you apply to jobs.”

Hah.

No.

It is awful. I somehow managed to create it, and I am not unproud of myself, but it will not be getting me any job offers. And I certainly do not know how to make it better. It’s been over 3 months since the last time I had to write any code, and I am sure that I couldn’t even replicate the horrible ugly fiasco I made. It’s probably safe to say that I don’t ACTUALLY know HTML.

Did that stop me from saying yes when the job application I filled out the other day asked if I knew how to code?

Nope.

And that is what I have gotten out of one and a half semesters of graduate school, so far. I learned how to code long enough to create a website that is an assault on the eyes, then promptly forgot.

Well, that and I learned that assigning Dewey numbers to books is witchcraft and catalogers must all be witches and wizards. I love Library of Congress subject headings though.

Also, one and a half semesters in, and I am losing my brain a little. Yesterday I was answering a reference question and I couldn’t figure out what to call the person who is in charge of the courtroom. I thought and thought and the best I could come up with was “court boss.” So that’s what I wrote down.

Judge.

The word I was looking for was judge.

Good grief.

This is not even what I wanted to write about. Like, not even a little.

 

I don’t even know what this was or why it happened, but happen it did. I guess I just needed a break from writing lit reviews and seminar papers. I actually had something else I wanted to write here, but then this happened.

Good grief, self, you come to a blog for the first time in 2 and a half years or something like that, and then you don’t even write the idea you had that brought you back in the first place?

Maybe another day.

I’m going to go eat a burrito now.





I Think They Call This The Feels

9 04 2013

Someone I know died.

I saw the news on facebook and I’ve been in complete shock ever since.

But it’s weird, see, because I didn’t know her that well. She was three years older than me. I didn’t really talk to her that often. We weren’t facebook friends. I was aware of her existence and she was aware of mine, but that was it. She was an active member of my church’s sister church, so we were at a lot of the same youth group and church events.

But now she’s dead and it came out of the blue and I wasn’t expecting it and I shouldn’t be upset but for some reason I am. Maybe it was just because it was so sudden. Like, one day you’re not thinking about a person at all, barely even aware of the fact that they exist, and the next day you’re reminded of them by hearing that they don’t exist. It just…I don’t know. It’s weird. That’s weird, right?

It’s like when I was in seventh grade. I was hanging out in my room after church when my dad came downstairs. He knocked on my door.

“You know [name], right?”

“Yeah…?”

“He committed suicide today.”

And then he just turned around and went back to whatever he was doing. I feel like he MUST have watched me for a reaction or something, but that’s what I remember. I wasn’t friends with this kid. Actually, I barely knew him at all. We went to the same church so I’d gone to some youth group things with him. But for the rest of the day, he was all I could think about. That night we watched this compilation of the best School House Rock songs. I had to leave the room because the one about the skeletons made me think about how this he was going to be a skeleton. I couldn’t get him out of my mind.

That’s how I feel right now. I keep picturing her and then I think about how my great grandma died and she was in a coffin and this girl I knew is in a coffin and just…I don’t know. You know?

But it’s weird because like I said, I didn’t know her that well. You probably couldn’t even call us friends in the loosest definition of the world. She was just someone who was there, then we went our separate ways. So I’m not sure why this is affecting me so much.

But it’s just so strange to me because I keep checking my local news websites expecting this person’s death to be front page news. But it’s not. And it’s not going to be. There’s no reason for it to be: there was no shooting or crazy accident or anything like that. She just died. But why, then, does it feel like it should be front page news? I imagine this is how it must feel when someone really important to you dies. And if I’m this upset that it’s not front page news when someone I barely even knew died, what in the world is it going to be like if someone important to me dies?